'Orphan' review

(courtesy Dark Castle/Warner Bros.)

Hola mi amigos y que tal.

Okay, bad horror movies are a dime a dozen. Good ones are very rare and great ones are the way of the dodo bird. 'Orphan' falls somewhere between good and great and yet, I highly recommend it for those who want a really good ride. This film blatantly exploits the tried and true horror formula: the 'child from hell', slaps it on a rocket, lights the fuse and let's it rip!

Plot is as follows: Kate (Vera Farmiga who can't seem to stay away from evil children; remember 'Joshua'?) is a former music teacher who mopes over the loss of her stillborn daughter. She and her husband devise a solution. Adopt a child...but HOLD IT! Not just any child! THE ultimate child from hell, Esther.

Esther, played to the brilliant hilt by 12-year-old Isabelle Fuhrman, is a bright girl with pigtails, is artistically and musically brilliant, but somewhat antisocial. Her headmistress nun at the orphanage is more than happy to be rid of her (note the dark glances). The kids don't like her, she dresses like a porcelain doll after one two many vodkas, and yes folks, has a tendency to be around almost fatal accidents. Oh, did I mention that she kills too?

Of course, Kate is the only one to see past her angelic facade and she's accused of being paranoid and reverting back to her drinking (which got her fired from her job in the first place). But then, Kate's kids are put in even more danger and therefore Kate must intervene before she has no family whatsoever. Oh yeah, and there's a 'Crying Game'-style plot twist to boot!

Yes, it's a horror film and horror films are supposed to be disturbing and sick. I know critics have already panned this gem, but who cares? 'Orphan' does what a horror film should do and that is seep through your skin like a leech and suck it the f*ck dry and it does that quite well.

Yes, there's something wrong with little Esther. She's a stark raving beeyotch!! Go see it.